fag life

planning goes to waste.

parents take centurys to come uppone a decidion,

plans then get destoyed.

england is no more.

suckyness ftw.

fag life, now in existance.

butchered

and then my belief flew out the window,

landing amongst every one elses ignorance.

once again.

If they give you ruled paper, write the other way.

A- What Now?

Joy!

I have serious anemia..my dad is pms-ing about it, bringing home all these different hb test machine thingys.

its insane.

seriously, i dont have enough blood and then he wasnts to continuously test how much i have WTF!?

i didnt even know how serious it was until my dad had a fit today cos i refused to take his retarded test as the little nedle objects leav bruzes and its not pleasant what so ever.

either way i have to go back to the hospital in 3 weeks for more tests and to see if im any better. they lied to me, they told me i was fine and that i just had a serious lack of blood..

its not that simple.

fags.

appart from that rather inconvinient situation everything is just dandy.

can't wate for the easter holiday..thats when im off to England with my lovely rrezarted albanian kid Rrezarta :)

how lovely.

10-02-10

was it a mistake?

-too soon?

all i can think about is climbing mountinas..

-fallings, tumbeling, crashing down in to emptyness.

the awearness before the reality.

it.

i love how you took my identity and used it against me.

how can you bother?

i dont know how i have the energy.

i simply dont know where i get it from.

the speed i use is maid of good newse,

good news,

happy feelings,

reasons to persist are what keep me going,

keep me hyper,

keep my smiling.

no amount of negertive energy can burst my bubble,

if i have a good enough reason to keep it alive and floating.

but then like all drugs,

the speed im on tends to wear out after ower using it.

this is why im still wondering,

how on earth do i manage to find more and more small things,

tiny things that keep me going.

i really dont know how i have the energy,

the energy to bother.

that game you played so well.

you really think you'r the one playing and winning the game?

scoring the points,
making people cheer you on,
support your side.

well do i have news for you..

check the sidelines,
look both ways before you cross.
because sooner or later it will hit you,
hit you with more force than you can imagine.

this game you were playing,
this game you were winning,
it was playing you all along..

it was leading you on, letting you believe you had the upper hand,
the illusion of success in your mind is nothing more than that,
nothing more than a transparent image in your head that only you can see.

you think it's a victory.
that game you played so well,
has suddenly become your own personal hell.

no one will know,
no one will see,
it's just you,

you who lost against me.